Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I have a question about memories. From ages one to eight, I can remember only things like the house, toys, etc., but nothing clear about the people. Then, after we moved away from my father, I can remember everything. How can this be? Also is there any way other than hypnosis to recovering those memories?

Answer

Let me assume that your relationship with your father was troubled and possibly traumatic. How you may have coped as a child was to focus on other things than what went on amongst the people in your family. Then, when the source of that distress was removed, you were able to focus more directly on the people.

As far as recovering memories goes, this is an area of some controversy. We know that memories are fragile and subjective. We also know that trauma does indeed blunt memories. What I believe at this point is that healing does not require recovered memories. We need to define as best we can the atmosphere within our families and define what were likely sources of distress. Then we can open ourselves to healing. Hypnosis can be a real aid in this healing process and can be utilized effectively without delving into repressed memories. Otherwise the best we can do as far as memories are concerned is to take a reconstructive approach, i.e., to try to develop an understanding of our past through photographs, other records such as letters, and the recollections of others who were there. Such input may also help us better define the focus for healing

01/27/99

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.