Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I find that I am extremely irritable toward my spouse and children. Am I depressed?

Answer

Irritability can indeed be a symptom of depression. But it can also be symptomatic of other conditions, both medical and psychological. The place to start is to get a good physical evaluation of your health as well as some self-assessment. How is your sleep? How are your nutritional habits? What kind of exercise program do you follow?

If physical causes to your irritability are ruled out, then you may want to spend some time with a counselor and assess how you are feeling about yourself and your life at this point. Are your primary relationships satisfactory? Are the issues from your past that bother you to include any history of trauma? How do you see yourself? Are you prone to putting yourself down?

Similarly, you might want to look at spiritual matters. How meaningful are your day-to-day activities to you? If you have a belief in God, are you feeling separated from God in any way?

Rather than passing judgment on yourself for being irritable, why not look on it as a red flag -- a sort of message from your unconscious mind trying to call your attention to something in need of change or healing, be that something physical, emotional, or spiritual.

08/07/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.