Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

I have been advised by my medical doctor to "learn how to relax." He gave me some exercises in which I'm supposed to close my eyes, listen to soft music, and then count my breaths. What typically happens to me is that I start getting up-tight, just the opposite of what is supposed to happen. Am I hopeless?

Answer

Absolutely not! Recent research into relaxation therapies has identified a phenomenon known as "relaxation anxiety." For some persons, standard relaxation methods are simply not effective but not because of some "defect." The physiological changes evoked are not always the same across people and, for some, the changes are uncomfortable. For some, for example, as they move into the relaxation, there may be an urge to cry. Again, this does not imply a psychiatric problem. It is simply an indicator that traditional relaxation training may not be best for this individual.

You might first of all try eliminating the music. It may overstimulate you. Second, try something other than counting your breaths. You might try picturing something pleasant or simply keeping your attention focused on some other physical sensation, such as the feeling of the chair in which you are seated. Third, just breathe in a relaxed manner. Don't feel you must always deep breathe since this may cause some light-headedness. Finally, report back to your doctor the difficulty you've experienced and see if he can suggest another path. Depending upon what health issues you are facing, biofeedback may be an alternative route to help you with such problems as hypertension.

03/15/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.