Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

Question

When I was 11 or 12 years old, I was sexually molested by a parish priest. He has since left the priesthood and lives in another town. I find myself struggling with tremendous rage. I wish I could reconnect with some of the good things about Catholicism but every time I try to go to Mass, I get angry. Can you help?

Answer

As a fellow Catholic, I find the entire pedophile scandal and the manner the Catholic hierarchy has handled it to be a deep embarrassment and a source of deep sadness. Many priests used their power and position to their own ends so first of all I hope you are clear with the reality that you were not at fault. Your rage is understandable. This type of abuse constitutes a very deep betrayal with serious spiritual consequences. Many persons abused by priests further felt betrayed by Catholicism. One suggestion then is that you write this ex-priest a letter which you won't mail and in which you give free rein to your rage. Let him have it, cuss words and all!

Second, you may want to look into what if any mechanism your local Catholic diocese has set up to address the needs of victims of clergy abuse. While many diocese have not handled this issue well, nonetheless you may have some recourse by which you can receive some help at no cost to yourself. Such action may also gave you some relief by speaking out and holding someone accountable for their actions.

Finally, with or without the financial help of your local diocese, I would encourage you to find a therapist who is familiar with issues related to sexual abuse and who is also comfortable addressing spiritual issues. He/she may be able to help you ease your rage and also reclaim a spiritual path. That path may not necessarily be through Catholicism but remember -- there are many paths to the same point.

03/15/98

Richard B. Patterson is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.