A PARENT'S STORY

By Susan, Illinois Parents Anonymous, Parent Leader

Ask for help. If you are losing control with your kids, please ask for help. Terrified of what I might do, I finally told a counselor what was happening with my son and me. The counselor told me that I just needed more time to myself. More desperate than before, I left the office thinking the counselor told me that the cure for my lifetime of abuse was to go home and take a hot bath.

When I told my spouse what I understood, he said it sounded like I should talk more to my counselor about this. Asking for help once was hard enough. I soon began to scream for help. One day, I panicked and then decided to call the Department of Children and Family Service (DCFS) on myself. DCFS interviewed me and recommended some respite day care over the next twelve weeks. It took me seven weeks to find a licensed provider who would take my kids, which left me with five weeks of care.

When the period of day care was about to end, I became very anxious. What would I do now? I remember lying in bed at night and begging, "God, please don't let me do this anymore. Don't let me scream at or hit my son."

Then a social worker who happened to do child care for Parents Anonymous (PA) in my town suggested I try PA. At that point I was willing to try anything. My first meeting replaced despair with hope. My second meeting replaced helplessness with new ideas. It's now been three years and I am the parent leader of my group. Just taking home even one small bit of information once a week has given me an entire treasure chest full of new skills, friends and hope to turn to when times are stressful.

A great load lifted from my shoulders just knowing I was not alone. I came to realize that I am in control of my life; I am the one who makes the changes in my life. My journey with PA gave rewards that are not measurable. We can never do it alone. Parents coming together are what makes it happen. Three years ago, I never would have dreamed that I could be the person that Parents Anonymous has helped me become.

Editor's Note: This article originally appeared in the Winter 1994 edition of "Statewide News from Parents Anonymous" [Illinois] and is reprinted here by permission of the author.

Resource: Parents Anonymous, National Organization, 675 W Foothill Blvd., Suite 220, Claremont, California, 91711 phone 909.621.6184, fax 909.625.6304