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INTERACTIVE ZONE - READER'S COMMENTS

Please remember, this column is designed to help the consumer seeking behavioral-health information, and not intended to be any form of psychotherapy or a replacement for professional, individualized services. Opinions expressed in the column are those of the columnist and do not represent the position of other SelfhelpMagazine.com staff.

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Cybersex - The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

I have two experiences with net relationships that I'd like to share. The first was most of our worst nightmare... began online, moved to the phone..when I began feeling uncomfortable in the relationship ( a lot of what he'd told me hadn't added up) and tried to break it off.. things started getting ugly.

I didn't hear from him in a few weeks, and just as I began to feel that things were getting back to normal.. he called to tell me he had cancer. Being an investor (or so he said) he told me he had set up a portfolio in my name that I would get when/if he passed away. I told him I thought he was joking, that he couldn't possibly have done something like that without my social security number.

A chill went up my spine when he recited my social security number to me. I hung up the phone and debated calling the police. About a week later, he called me at work. (I'm an air-personality at a radio station) he called me while I was on the air, knowing full well that way he wouldn't have to get a receptionist who he knew would never put him thru to me. He told me he "knew" I was in love with him.. that he could hear it in my voice.

I asked him how that was possible, since he was hundreds of miles away. He turned up his radio.. and it was my station!! He was somewhere in MY TOWN! I refused his request to see him, hung up and called the police. He knows that the next time he contacts me could mean his arrest. This was about a year ago, and I still have nightmares.. I still feel that he is lurking. I've since changed jobs and location, but still am affraid.

You would think that would scare me off my computer forever.. and it certainly HAS scared me away from chat rooms. However.. around the same time that this was happening, I sent an email to a collegue of mine.. or at least, I thought I was sending him mail. It would up being a wrong number (similar screen name.. on aol).

The person who recieved my mail eventually became a dear friend.. he now has a strong presence in my life.. as far away as he is..we have been able to maintain a deep respectful friendship.. and we both know its limits. So, there you have it.. the bad, the ugly and the good, of online relationships.

Heavy Metal Music and Teen Suicide

In reference to the article concerning heavy metal and teen suicide: I, being a heavy metal fan, must admit that death is a recurring theme in some bands' lyrics. However, I also wanted to point out that nowadays, "thinking about suicide" has become popular because of the media. (Example: Kurt Cobain's suicide has been glorified and many teenagers followed such action) Why? We're suffering from what I would call "mindlesness"...I sadly see how many of my schoolmates, for example, will be quick to accept whatever MTV and the radio throw at them (ANYTHING).

These two mediums have played with political correctness and have turned it into a gimmick, therefore contributing to a general lack of objective and critical thought. Heavy metal is not the only part to blame...the media is too, and so are may irresponsible parents. I must sadly affirm that the United States is suffering from a breakdown in the institution of what is known as "the family", in which many parents would rather let the government take care of their children and dedicate themselves to other things. As I said before, heavy metal is not the only one to blame, but it is an easy scapegoat for those who insist on blaming youth's problems on someone.

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