Part I outlined three dysfunctional anger styles:

1) "Planning to Get Even,"

2) "Consuming Anger" and

3) "Intellectual Intimidation."

I also quoted a few lines from my favorite "anger" Shrink Rap. Let me introduce two more irate styles in ironic style with the opening of "The Self-Righteous Rap."

You didn't know life is all right or wrong? You're victor or victim or just don't belong There is no question, life's but bleak or white Forget ambiguity when hooked on Freud-lite.

What happened to subtlety and shades of gray? The world's drinking and shrinking its brain cells away. The rage that's stirred by mental oppression compels this Shrink Rap regression confession.

Do you recognize these two complementary styles?

4. Frequent Flasher. This reactive individual is a fiery flame thrower who's quick to be triggered. The "Flasher" doesn't just expose himself (not a pretty sight) but he is often feeling exposed as well. I've labeled this explosive type the "HE man." Driving this aggressive, impatient, hyper person are two underlying complexes, which are thinly disguised with sparks and smoke: "H" stands for "Humiliation," due to oft-perceived rejection, feeling shown up, and deep-seated unworthiness. And "E" is for "Emptiness," brought on by separation anxiety and feelings of abandonment. (And please, I don't discriminate. A HE man can be either male or female.)

But there's hope, if we can acknowledge our problematic style. I recall a US State Department manager who finally realized he had to control his temper tantrum throwing inner child. He came up with this strategy. In the middle of a typical, increasingly heated blood-starting-to-boil meeting, Mr. Manager would suddenly announce, "Excuse me, I just remembered, I need to photocopy some documents. I'll be back in five minutes." He'd leave his startled antagonist, walk outside or find a deserted office or bathroom, shout some expletives, and then return. Now he could deliver his anger in an adult manner.

5. The Holy Smolder. Some people try holding back their anger, being aware of their Mount St. Helens potential. Others feel a show of anger is a weakness; either you've allowed others to get to you or it's a sign of your being out of control. Such a primitive display. (And with that rigid and righteous thinking, you wonder why some folks are early candidates for heart attacks.) So they smolder away until they implode (high blood pressure, major depression) or explode ("Volcanus Eruptus" Syndrome). And the latency between eruptions invariably decreases.

The susceptible person here is often the "SHE man," the psychic partner to the "HE men." The "S" stands for "Savior." This individual isn't much of an individual, more one who blindly and self-righteously upholds "the one right way." This Savior Style reflects or rewards servility more than civility. Always ready to sacrifice or give advice...at a price - unquestioned loyalty and everlasting appreciation - that you are expected to pay. (Of course, The SHE man can be a "nice guy" as well a "good girl.") And like the HE man, the SHE man's overdependence with and upon others has a covert purpose: to distract from feelings of "Humiliation" and "Emptiness."

So, if you are starting to blow a SHE man cover with righteously explosive outbursts, be careful. With a cycle of smoldering and fiery flaming you will only make an ash of yourself.

I'll finish up the anger style profile next time. Until then, just remember...Practice Safe Stress!

4/26/98