Boundaries are barriers that protect the individual, families, and other people the individual may know (Corey, 1996, p. 393). There are two types of boundaries: rigid and diffuse. If you have rigid boundaries, then barriers may exist that keep you from having meaningful relationships and understanding with others. People who have rigid boundaries can become isolated or withdrawn from people, which can cause relationships to suffer.

A diffuse boundary is the opposite of a rigid boundary; people with diffuse boundaries do not have clear, definable boundaries with others, and such individuals can have problems defining who they are. In situations where diffuse boundaries exist within a family, it is common to find family over-involvement in the individual's life. This degree of understanding, or accommodation, between family members can be characterized by a loss of independence by one or all involved family members, and this over-involvement is usually reflected by parents and children who become increasingly dependent on each other at the expense of relationships outside the family.

Perhaps an extreme example of a boundary problem is an extension of the overprotective family example whereby empathy, or understanding, for each person within the family is so great as to allow for an individual to "feel" what the other or others within the family are experiencing. These behaviors occur when individual boundaries break down, and the result can be an almost extra-sensory awareness between family members.

This empathy is unhealthy, for it does not allow development without dependence. This causes the family to be such that it excludes others outsiders from having meaningful relationships with individuals within the family. In a way, the diffuse or "soft" boundaries within the family cause the family unit's boundaries to become more rigid to outside-the-family relationships. This serves to increase the family's dependence on each other and allows the destructive behavior to continue.

As with most things, there exists a happy medium. This happy medium is defined by having stable, healthy boundaries that allow for personal and meaningful relationships with others. A person with healthy boundaries is able to have a solid sense of self and feelings of belongingness to one's family as well as to others outside the family.

References:

Corey, G. (1996). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy (5th ed.). Pacific Grove, CA: Brooks/Cole.

5/29/98

William F. Ritchie, M.S., is a Ph.D., student in educational psychology and measurement at Cornell University. His research interests include attribution theory and explanatory style, and college student academic performance.