People are emotionally harassed on the Internet. In fact, perpetrators of such harassment often intentionally join communities that they perceive will be emotionally vulnerable. Potentially vulnerable groups include divorced or widowed people who travel and the physically disabled.

People preying on the vulnerable often pretend to have the circumstance or condition that is required for membership in the group. They may also pretend to be a professional with a "miracle cure" to sell other members of the group. Even more upsetting is the person who truly is a professional, and offers a "miracle cure" that is not based in solid research.

A list owner reported that an individual approached her with an inquiry to be forwarded to the email forum she managed for both deaf and hard-of-hearing people. The list owner agreed, and subsequently forwarded all replies to him, but only after cautiously removing email addresses of the respondents. He wrote back to the list owner to ask for the telephone numbers of the people who responded, so that he could "talk" to the members of this deaf and hard-of-hearing community. His intentions were immediately evident. Luckily, the list owner was savvy about potential intruders, and protected the list from any further contact from this man.

Other harmful uses of text-based, anonymous communications include small groups of people who "gang up" on a particular online community member and distort the information posted by that member. Termed "virtual-sabotage" by Dr. Marlene Maheu, this behavior can be particularly upsetting to someone trying earnestly to share a heartfelt viewpoint. When several other members respond to the individual's posts by distorting the facts as a united front, they can easily confuse other members of the group and lead to much wasted energy on the part of the intended victim before true motives become apparent. A clue to such a trap is that all attempts by the targeted member to correct distortions lead to further distortions by virtual-saboteurs. The games people play!

Email communities are often destroyed by such irresponsible and disrespectful behavior.
The following story that Tanya told us illustrates how devastating virtual-sabotage can be. Konjit is a 34-year-old Ethiopian nurse from Odessa, who went online for support concerning a personal issue.

"Although my English not good, I know to use computer. Heart broken six months ago. Suspecting my husband horsing around on me. Found room for chatting, crying and tell my story. Some people they were kind. Others mix me up. I say to them, 'my husband I think is horsing around.'
"One guy he type, 'he, he, he, he,' like a horse laughing. Try better explain him, 'No, husband is seeing other woman.' Then for few times, men would type me,
'Tanya's husband loves a horse.'
'Love affair with a horse?'
'Tanya, do you join in?'
"Women in chatting room scolded them, but soon they say:
'Tanya, her husband and horse? Menage a trois?'
'Tanya, who you like better, husband or horse?'
'Tanya's husband leaves her for a horse.'
"One woman say to me, 'Forget about it, Tanya. Just ignore ignorant people.'
"Heart was broken over husband and what men wrote. Later, I saw on bulletin board, 'Tanya's husband says she is full of horse-and is leaving her.'"

Such behavior is inexcusable, but people have been reported to do much worse with interpersonal relationships online.

Virtual Rape

Several types of virtual rape have emerged as people become familiar with how to use and abuse information they get from others online. Although people feel that the interaction they have with a virtual lover is private, some learn a difficult lesson.

Cases have been reported where angry virtual lovers post texts of "private moments" to public Internet audiences. Howard Rheingold, writing in The Virtual Community, says, "Net sleazing, as the practice of aggressively soliciting mutual narrative stimulation is known, is an unsavory but perennially popular behavior in MUD-land. Possibly the nastiest trick to pull on a newcomer to MUD culture is to talk him (most MUDers are males, including many who present themselves as females) into Tiny Sex (cyber-sex in MUDs), which you clandestinely record in a text file and consequently post to the worldwide Usenet discussion of MUD life. It is akin to seducing someone, videotaping the encounter, and putting out free copies at the neighborhood video store. There are MUDs in which outright orgiastic scenarios are the dominant reality. There are MUDs that are as chaste as classrooms, but sex talk definitely has a place in the MUD universe."

Whether it occurs in a MUD, email discussion lists, public dating websites, or any of a number of other arenas where people become known by their pseudonyms, broadcasting someone's love letters to a public forum, especially if they include cyber-sexual activity, is harmful. Victims of this type of exposure may rightfully feel exposed and humiliated.

Dr. Sherry Turkle, in Life on the Screen, writes, "consensual relationships are only one aspect of cyber-sex. Virtual rape can occur within a MUD or a MOO if one player finds a way to control the actions of another player and can thus force that character to have sex. This type of coercion depends entirely on being able to direct the actions and reactions of characters independent of the desire of their players." The one certain way to protect yourself against virtual rape is to limit your wordiness in romantic interludes. Remember the adage, "less is more."

*Much gratitude is extended to those who helped clarify, amplify, and edit the material used in this article, Rona Subotnik, MA; Les Posen, Ph.D.; Manny Tau, Ph.D.; Martha Bank, Ph.D.; Rosalie Ackerman, Ph.D.; Thomas Williams, Ph.D.; and Cleo Kiernan.

References
Rheingold, H. (1993). The virtual community: Homesteading on the electronic frontier. New York: HarperPerennial Paperback.
Turkle, S. (1995). Life on the screen. New York: Simon & Shuster.

12/01/01

Dr. Maheu is an author, speaker, and researcher. She is the lead author of E-Health, Telehealth & Telemedicine: A Guide to Program Startup and Success co-written with Pamela Whitten and Ace Allen, published by Jossey-Bass: San Francisco. Infidelity on the Internet is Dr. Maheu's second book and she's currently working her third, tentatively titled "The Mental Health Professional Online: New Questions and Answers." For more information about her speaking schedule, see this page: http://telehealth.net/speak.html