SelfhelpMagazine

by James Lehman, MSW

Does Your Child Say This? "You don't love me."
Does your child use guilt to manipulate you? In this month’s issue, James Lehman, creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents, shows you how to deflect the guilt by using an effective response that puts the emphasis where it should be: on your child and the importance of following family rules.

Translation: I’m going to put you on the defensive and hit you where it really hurts so you give in and let me go out.
Ineffective parenting response: “You know I love you! I took you to the mall yesterday!”
Effective parenting response: “The issue is not that I love you. The issue is we have rules in our family about Sunday afternoons.”

About the author:

James Lehman is a behavioral therapist and the creator of The Total Transformation Program for parents.He has worked with troubled children and teens for three decades. James holds a Masters Degree in Social Work from Boston University.

Does Your Child Say This? "You don't love me." reprinted with permission from Empowering Parents.For more information about this article, visit www.empoweringparents.com.