Self-help Articles

by Connie Saindon, MA, MFCC, CTS

This list of 100 ways to love your mate is designed to be a quick check for you to get ideas on how to continue to show love to your partner. Use these suggestions to maintain and boost your relationship.

100 Ways To Love Your Mate
1. Hug them.
2. Write a love note.
3. Call them at work just to say "Hi."
4. Give them a foot massage.
5. Tell them a joke.
6. Caress them with slow gentle strokes.
7. Go for a walk with them.
8. Send them a "happy gram."
9. Admit your mistakes.
10. Say: "I love you."
11. Indulge a whim.
12. Listen to them talk about an interest of theirs.
13. Be trustworthy.
14. Instead of complaining, tell them what you would prefer.
15. Look at them when you're in a discussion.
16. Send flowers.
17. Compliment something they did.
18. Offer to help.
19. Ask them to show you how to do something.
20. Call when you are going to be late.
21. Take them out to dinner.
22. Write them a poem about how special they are.
23. Cut out a cartoon they'll enjoy.
24. Ask them what they'd like sexually.
25. Go shopping together.
26. Take an afternoon drive.
27. Cuddle.
28. Put your arm around them in front of others.
29. Take them out on a surprise date.
30. Do something they want to do.
31. Listen.
32. Plan a candle light dinner.
33. Look at old photos together.
34. Serve them breakfast in bed.
35. Hold hands.
36. Share sexual fantasies.
37. Do a work project together.
38. Rub their back.
39. Take a shower together.
40. Carry their photo in your wallet.
41. Go away together for a weekend holiday.
42. Kiss them.
43. Smile more when you look at them.
44. Go for a bicycle ride together.
45. Surprise them with "special" attire.
46. Plan a picnic lunch.
47. Read something together about how to have a better relationship.
48. Repeat what they say before answering.
49. Say "Good morning" first.
50. Ask if they have a few minutes first before interrupting.
51. Send them a card.
52. Surprise them with a gift when it's a non-holiday.
53. Cook them a favorite meal.
54. Try a new restaurant.
55. Ask them how they feel.
56. Let them know when you are proud of them.
57. Ask for their opinion.
58. Turn on some romantic music.
59. Dedicate a song to them.
60. Send them a balloon bouquet.
61. Watch a sunset together.
62. Play a game together.
63. Have them teach you something they know.
64. Tell them they have the night off.
65. Go to a movie they select.
66. Ask them for a hug.
67. Wear some new cologne.
68. Take them to Bali.
69. Discuss future plans with them.
70. Ask if you can help when they look sad.
71. Ask them about their dreams.
72. Meet them for lunch.
73. Enlarge a scenic photo of a place you've shared.
74. Give them a gift certificate for their favorite store.
75. Tell them what you like about them.
76. Buy them a new perfume.
77. Take them to a scenic spot.
78. Send them a gourmet gift basket.
79. Send them a joke card.
80. Let them know when you've thought of them during the day.
81. Buy them a toy.
82. Compliment them to their friends.
83. Bring them a thirst quenching drink.
84. Tell them when they look attractive.
85. Send them a post card.
86. Invite them to a secret rendezvous.
87. Give them a massage.
88. Take a lesson with them.
89. Look at photos together of when you met.
90. Plan a vacation with them.
91. Listen openly to their opposing opinion.
92. Buy them a new piece of jewelry.
93. Watch a TV show they like with them
94. Write them a letter.
95. Listen to music with them, such as an old favorite.
96. Whisper sweet nothings in their ear.
97. Tell them what you like that they do.
98. Give a head massage.
99. Invite them to a concert.
100. Let them know you care.

Some couples have also used it as a request list. They have circled what they would like to have and asked their partner to do the same. Feel free to add your ideas on ways to love your mate and use the list again and again. Enjoy!

About the Author:

Connie Saindon, M.A., MFT has been a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist since 1979. In addition to providing services for Individuals, couples and families, Ms. Saindon is among the few specialists in the field of violent death bereavement. Founder the Survivors of Violent Death Program and volunteer faculty at the University of California Medical School Department of Psychiatry, she is author of The Journey, Violent Death Bereavement: Adult Survivors Workbook and contributing author of Violent Death: Resilience and Intervention Beyond the Crisis. To reach her, please see this page.