SelfhelpMagazine

by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.

First let me applaud you for losing the weight. I admire your commitment to your health and your desire to change. You should feel very proud of yourself. One downside of losing so much weight is that your skin has not shrunk to fit your new body. While surgery could repair that issue, it does not seem to be the most important.

What strikes me as at the heart of the matter is more about your feelings about yourself. When you say that you only have sex with when you are drunk and with people that you do not care about, this says more about how you feel about you than anything else. I would imagine that you did not feel too good about yourself and your body at 275 lbs. Apparently, despite the fact that you have lost 100 lbs, you still are not feeling good about you or your body.

This says more about how you feel about yourself than about how others may feel toward you. Others seem to find you desirable enough to go to bed with you, but you don't feel desirable. The more you get drunk and the more you have sex with people that you do not feel anything toward, the lower your self-esteem will go. I suggest that you do some personal work on issues regarding self-esteem and body image. Perhaps you should seek psychotherapy to help you integrate the new you into your self-image.

About the Author:

Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.