by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.
Question: I am in my first serious relationship. To be with him, I moved away from my home. As a result, I need some attention and loving. When I tell me boyfriend this, he laughs and ignores me. Have I made a mistake?
It is a serious matter if one person expresses his/her needs and the other person refuses to discuss the issue. Perhaps your boyfriend fears that he cannot meet your needs. If so, however, he needs to be more upfront with you about that fear.
If he really is uninterested in meeting your needs, then perhaps it's time to move on. What you might want to try first, though, is to see if your boyfriend would be willing to see a therapist with you. If so, that might be worth trying to see if improved communication can make the relationship more satisfying.
About the Author:
Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.
Originally published 03/15/98
Revised 05/04/09 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
Revised 05/04/09 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.
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