Aging: How Best to Retire

By Phil Rich, Ed.D., MSW, DCSW

People need to learn how best to retire. Twice as many Americans were born in 1955 than in 1935. Millions of people today are entering, passing through, or have completed mid life and there has never been so many people nearing or already in retirement. The American Association of Retired Persons (open to anyone age 50) has more than 30 million members.

Yet, despite the many books and articles that focus on planning for the financial considerations of retirement, an equally important issue is hardly talked about at all: how will people live when their lives and roles are radically changed?

The Identity of Work

Retirement is not simply a time to just stop working. It's a time of life that marks a passage from a life of work to a life of accomplishment, leisure and choice. For their working years, people are probably most defined by their job, from the moment they wake to how they introduce themselves at parties. When they retire they lose that identity, but not necessarily the need for it.

There's a stark contrast between the well-defined world of work and the undefined roles and open goals of retirement. When people work, their day is determined by the requirements of the job. But when they retire, they alone plan their day and live it. One key to this "inner" directed life lies in the ability to define success and find happiness in satisfying interests, relationships, and activities.

The "intangible" aspects of work fulfill needs that don't vanish simply because people no longer work. These non-financial job benefits -- comradeship, challenge, purpose, and even power -- are among those that need to be nurtured in retirement. Tennis, fishing, and loafing, though they can be great for awhile, won't replace work.

Learning to Retire

The ideal time to start planning for the practical challenges of retirement is during mid-life or earlier. But there are aspects of retirement for which people simply can't prepare until they get there. These are the spiritual and emotional lessons that can be leaned only once retired.

One key to a successful retirement is for people to figure out what work has meant to them. Because, whatever other changes retirement brings, the central fact is that they will be giving up their work. Success in retirement often means finding satisfying and personally productive replacements for work so that life continues to have meaning and reward after the job has ended.

The Five Phases of Retirement

Although retirement is different for everyone, there are common phases to the process. It helps to understand these because it provides retirees with a language to put their feelings and experiences into words, and also provides a set of landmarks to help them judge where they are and what lies ahead.

Phase 1: Pre-Retirement.

As people enter this phase, they face the realization that retirement is not just coming sometime in the future, but is imminent. During this phase, primary tasks involve preparing for retirement and gearing up for separation from work. This is an important time, offering the opportunity to not only plan financially but also to prepare emotionally and spiritually for a major change.

Phase 2: Honeymoon.

Many enter this phase without considering the important long-term needs of retired life, such as goals, relationships, and personal meaning, and without a long term plan. This phase provides a time for retirees to not only enjoy themselves, but to also plan ahead for the routines and life that will follow. Here, it is important for retirees to pace themselves and plan for the long haul.

Phase 3: Disenchantment.

For some, the honeymoon is followed by a period of disenchantment, and sometimes depression. And the more unrealistic the pre-retirement dream, the more likely it is that life after the honeymoon will feel empty and anti-climactic. For those who best understand this important phase, it provides an opportunity to re-invent themselves and re-define their own futures.

Phase 4: Reorientation.

This phase sees the active development of ideas and a movement towards a more balanced life and diversified set of interests, relationships, and routines. It offers a time to think about new avenues of involvement in every area of life, and is a time for action and movement towards the life retirees want to live.

Phase 5: Stability.

This stage most of all is "retirement." Until now, retirees have simply been gearing up for and moving towards this final phase, which doesn't really have an end. In this phase, retirees are not just thinking about and planning for their retirement, they're living it!

Making the Golden Years Golden

When people achieve success in retirement, they achieve the coming together of their life's achievements and failures. Retirement becomes a wonderful period in which the windfall of free time is converted to self-fulfillment.

References:

Driskill, J. L. (1997). "Adventures in Senior Living : Learning How to Make Retirement Meaningful and Enjoyable." Binghamton, NY: The Haworth Press.

Fetridge, G. A. (1994). "The Adventure of Retirement: It's About More Than Just Money." Amherst, NY: Prometheus.

Haynes, Marion (199) "From Work to Retirement." Menlo Park, CA: Crisp Publications.

Rich, P., Sampson, D., & Fetherling, D. (1999). "The Healing Journey through Retirement: Your Journal of Transition and Transformation." New York: John Wiley.

Roper Starch Worldwide, Inc. (1999, February). "Baby Boomers Envision Their Retirement: An AARP Segmentation Analysis - Executive Summary. Washington, DC: American Association of Retired Persons

Waitley, D., & Seyfer, E. (1997). "How to Be Happily Retired." Berkeley, CA: Celestial Arts.

About the Author:

Phil Rich, Ed.D., MSW, DCSW [1] is the author of "Understanding, Assessing, and Rehabilitating Juvenile Sexual Offenders," the eight books in "The Healing Journey" series of self help journaling books, and two books in the "Therapy Homework Planner," series, all of which are published by John Wiley & Sons. He is the Clinical Director of the Stetson School, a long-term residential treatment program for sexually reactive children and juvenile sexual offenders.