I Am in A Relationship. Early on, My Boyfriend Was Unfaithful

by Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D.

Question: I am in a two year relationship. Early on, my boyfriend was unfaithful. I believe I have gotten over that. However, he continues to be flirtatious. He says he enjoys having these kinds of relationships. He denies having been unfaithful again. How can I cope?

In a committed relationship, flirtation is playing with fire. I would wonder what this need of your boyfriend's is about. Perhaps he enjoys a sense of power. Perhaps he is actually insecure and needs the attention that can come with flirtation.

You and he may need to sit down with a counselor who can perhaps help your boyfriend and you better understand this need. Whatever the underlying motivator is, if it is not properly addressed then the flirtation will likely continue and you need to decide whether you want to live with it. There is nothing wrong with you because you are bothered by it.

About the Author:

Richard B. Patterson, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in El Paso, TX. He is the author of three books on psychology and spirituality.

Originally published 01/27/99
Revised 12/18/08 by Marlene M. Maheu, Ph.D.

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