SelfhelpMagazine

by Ruth Cherry, Ph.D.

Sometimes it seems we're blocked on all sides. No matter what we choose or what we do we can't move ourselves out of a stuck position. Those are the times to sit back, breathe and practice gratitude.

I am grateful for the very smallest of blessings. I'm glad I have fingernails. What would life be like without them? I don't even want to imagine. I'm grateful I have toes. I appreciate that I can smell and taste even if the smells and tastes aren't always pleasant.

When I adopt an attitude of gratitude, my relationship to life shifts. I'm not trying to be in control or to work my will. I'm not resentful because I don't focus on what I don't like. I am humble. I realize that this minute will pass soon enough and I don't resist anything. When I cooperate with what is in front of me, I relax.

Being grateful is the best way I know to cooperate with life. I don't erect any barriers through my judgments about what "should" be. I don't even think about "should." I just say "Yes" and "Thank you."

I find this practice especially helpful with feelings which scare me or challenge me. I don't like feeling angry but sometimes I am. Instead of pretending I'm not or rationalizing, I accept my anger, I say "Yes" and "Thank you" and I breathe. I know it's OK to be angry and I also know I use good judgment about choosing appropriate behavior.

When someone says something which wounds, I respond with "Thank you." I don't want to take offense and barricade my heart. I want to learn from the situation. Being grateful helps me stay open to receive. And for whatever I receive, I say "Thank you." Not to anyone in particular. Just to life. "Thank you, life, for giving me whatever today brings."

I write my gratitude list in a gratitude book, in a gratitude journal, just so I can remember my list the next time I find myself having negative thoughts again. It helps me get my footing more quickly the next time, and prevents me from getting so far down.

Moving through life gratefully reduces stress, promotes better physical and mental health, and improves relationships. We feel happier and we think more clearly. And that's a lot to be grateful for!

Reference:

Breathnach, S. Simple Abundance. New York, Warner Books, 1995.

About the Author:

Ruth Cherry, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA. Her specialty is midlife when psychological and spiritual dynamics merge. Dr. Cherry leads guided meditation groups weekly both for the public and for inmates in a state penitentiary.