Books for Dealing with Aging Parents

By Emily Carton, MA, LISW

Could you recommend some specific books or resources on the general topic of dealing with aging parents? A couple of areas that I am interested in are advocating for your parent within the medical system and how to help them when they don't seem to want to do much anymore even though their health will allow.

There are many materials on the market that advice on how to help care for aging parents. Advocating for your parents in relation to the medical profession is an area in which you need to know the right questions to ask and the symptoms that concern you the most.

First you must look for changes. It is advisable to find a physician that works with geriatric patients. Never accept an Answer that the problem is age. A full screening is necessary.

A doctor should test for reflexes, motor functioning and cognitive functioning. Lab test are important to determine if there are any causes such as B12 deficiency, anemia, thyroid function, infections that could cause cognitive problems.

Scans to take pictures of the brain can determine if there is damage from strokes, clots, and tumors, or of a building up of spinal fluid. Ask questions -- no matter how simple they may seem, Ask! Take notes on what the doctor says. You may have to do some research on your own.

Consider yourself part of a team -- work with the doctor and understand that finding the right medication or the proper diagnosis can take time. Don't push the doctor into prescribing drugs out of frustration without giving time to understand the precise situation of your parent.

Never hesitate to get a second opinion. The fact that your parents are not doing as much as they are able may be a sign of an underlying depression, something common for older people. A physician needs to be sensitive to this as well.

Recommended Books:

"Are Your Parents Driving You Crazy?: Getting to Yes with Competent Aging" by Joseph A. Ilardo, Carole R. Rothman. Published 2005. Publisher: VanderWyk & Burnham.

"The Caregiver's Survival Handbook: How to Care for Your Aging Parent" by Alexis Abramson & Mary Anne Dunkin. 2004. Perigee.

"You and Your Aging Parent: A Family Guide to Emotional, Social, Health, and Financial Problems (Paperback)" by Barbara Silverstone, Helen Kandel Hyman, Kim Waller, Bob Morris, Penny Schwartz. Contributor Kim Waller, Bob Morris, Penny Schwartz. Published 2008. Oxford University Press; US.

Internet site, which can give you information and link you to areas of your specific concerns, is Caregiver Survivor Resources.